I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
what day is it and did you see me today?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
