I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
