Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
