Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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