we're blogging at a bar
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
