Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
