How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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