i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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