Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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