She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
