You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why didn't you poke me back
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Boobs are out for the taking
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
