there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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