I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He shit in the fireplace
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
