You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
