and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It was confusing and full of hummus
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
