Soap is not a condiment
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
