my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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