sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
