She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
