Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
