I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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