Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
