I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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