I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
