I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
