You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
