the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
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