You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
