final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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