Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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