hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dear god my vagina.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
