Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
