I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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