The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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