so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
