My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
