It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
