I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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