She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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