I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
