Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
