Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
