my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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