We won't sleep together?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
