Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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