He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
