my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
