The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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