why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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