My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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