I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
